Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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