You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
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I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
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He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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