I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
