Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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