you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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