i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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