whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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