Sry I called you an 8
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
