we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
