this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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