eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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