you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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