this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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