Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
