i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
