Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize