You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize