i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
