I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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