First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
