Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
