Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
