so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
