I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
