I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize