dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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