i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
