i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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