it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
