ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
