It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
