So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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