he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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