Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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