i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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