you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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