i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
