By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
