dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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