Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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