Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He has the fingertips of a God
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