DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
