nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
