yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
