I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
