Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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