Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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