Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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