so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
