Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Randomize
