After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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