I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I cut my penus on the lid.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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