In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
