I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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