The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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