i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
