is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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