So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
